Megan and I were inspired from a book we read called Safely Home by Randy Alcorn to set aside a chair in our tiny, one-room home as the place where Jesus sits. In the story of a poor Chinese Christian family, who, among tattered, meager furnishings, kept an elaborate chair. It was relatively royal for their humble home, and it was where "Jesus sat" as a physical reminder of His presence in their lives.

Our options were either a rolling desk chair, piano stool, or a comfy, antique armchair nestled in the "reading corner" of our room. We chose the armchair. This seat is anything but royal. It's fabric is browned and torn, the wood is scraped and worn, and the springs are falling out the bottom. But, it is the best, most comfy seat in the house. So, we agreed it would be where Jesus sits.

I must admit that there are many times when the occupation of that seat is troublesome. Like when I want to read a book or need a place to set my stuff, or the laundry, or the blankets as I'm making the bed. And then there are times when I just really want to sit there.

Instead, every once in a while I sit on the floor at the foot of the chair and I talk to Jesus. I look at the chair and imagine Him sitting there. I think of His scars. I think of who He is and what He did and how much He loves me. I allow my mind to be blown away by who Jesus really is, who I really am, what was and what is and what will be.

I will confess that I don't sit at His feet very often. Most of the time I ignore the armchair altogether. I wish I could make Him a chair deserving of a king! He created angels with the sole purpose of giving Him glory 24-7. Yet I can go a week without acknowledging Him in that chair.

Really, that armchair is a representation of the seat of my heart that He sits on, which is ragged a lot like that armchair. Though His ultimate throne is in Heaven at the right hand of the Father-- a seat deserving of a king-- He loves me more than enough to sit in my ragged armchair.

I am so grateful for the wise woman known as Grammy Doris. I've never met a more nurturing caregiver who on multiple occasions every month cooks a delicious Sunday afternoon meal for her family. Because I lived with her, I was adopted in as part of that family. But the sweetest thing is that even now after getting married and moving out, she still considers Megan and I as part of her family. So no matter what, we are usually invited to Sunday lunch.

Even today, when she was making a huge meal for two families of six, special friends who had come into town, and some other adopted couples like ourselves, we were welcome. I am very grateful because Megan and I are living in a season of no money and sometimes we don't know what to do for food. Grammy's only request was that we sit with the children in the living room because she doesn't have a big enough table. I had no problem with that if it meant I could eat a delicious lunch. I thought it was so funny when it was time for the children, and us, to get our food. It was all on the kitchen stove and we lined up. She had trays for us with napkins and silverware. It was just like a cafeteria or soup kitchen. It felt surreal. It made me so grateful for Grammy Doris. And I remember how amazing she is. I've never met anyone who would do all this for others. This blog is a special thanks to Grammy Doris. A woman who is characterized by her wisdom, fortitude, and lavish love... among many other things.

P.S. I am often tempted to take Grammy with us to a mission field far off where there are hurting, starving children and just let Grammy go to town on them. How many transformed lives would she leave in her wake? How many transformed lives has she already left in her wake? Amen!

Today started for me as a normal day off. I slept in and made a yummy breakfast (scrambled eggs topped with shredded cheese, spinach sauteed in salsa and olive oil, and toast with butter). It was only after my wife declared that this would be a sabbath day for her, and she didn't want to do anything, that I started to unravel. I couldn't help but get a little nauseous at her declaration because nothing sounds more intimidating, more depressing, more boring than a day spent doing nada. This hasn't been the first time I've come up against a day like this. Yes, I have encountered many and reacted much the same, with dread. It's kind of "old hat"-the kind of hat that doesn't match anything else, it's ugly, but your so used to wearing it and you don't have another one to wear.

It's on these occasions, like today, that I come unraveled and can't seem to get myself back together. Megan was looking forward to getting some serious reading done. As a matter of fact, she hasn't stopped reading all day except to eat or use the bathroom. Though I have made huge strides in becoming a reader (I have read more in the past year of my life than in all other years combined-not including textbooks), I am definitely not at her level. So, reading was not going to happen for me today. I was read out. But then what would I do?

It is when I have nothing to do that the whole army of Woe's inside my mind ambushes! The commander of this army is Loneliness and second in command, Insignificance. Their plan of attack; to destroy all motivation allowing for total takeover. After this happens, hope is all but lost. Any suggestion or idea or encouragement from my lovely wife of the many things I am blessed to be able to do today, fall on deaf ears. No, I hear them, but the attacker is holding my right-mind captive and I am uninterested in anything and everything. I sabotage myself. I convince myself that I don't want to be around anyone, or do anything. All this happens in a matter of minutes.

After a lifetime of living with this cycle I have gotten better. For example I can actually understand what's going on and why I feel the way I do, and I can write it out. That's big enough. But I have also learned to counter attack, though I am still not very good at it. I tried to remind myself that 75% of the world doesn't have the luxury of not doing anything for a whole day yet still being able to eat and relax in a comfy, safe bedroom that is all their own. I even tried to climb back into bed and "wake up" all over again to shake this attitude, this army that had overtaken me.

It didn't work. Today I am weak. I had a choice. There was a way out. But I didn't take it. Instead I sat back on the bed, lay my head on the pillow, closed my eyes, and surrendered with false comfort to a cloaked enemy. Sleep.

It didn't take me long after waking to realize the error of my ways. I should have..., I need to remember to..., I must be better prepared for next time. Megan and I went for a bite. The beautiful weather outside reminded me of what I had missed. After Megan expressed her concern that I wasn't myself and she could tell, we came back to the room and she continued to read.

Here I was again with a decision. I had ruined it once today, but I didn't have to ruin it again.

So, I read. I read Red, by Ted Dekker. It's a trilogy that Megan and I are reading and listening through (listening because we have the audio books, too). It is about a great fight. The fight between good an evil, in worlds, in people, in hearts, and in minds. It's about survival. It's about true life, in the deepest sense of the word. Right now I feel like one of the warriors screaming, "Elyon, give me strength!" Yet their struggle doesn't seem to subside. Sometimes it gets worse. But, I am only halfway through the second book.

This afternoon reading didn't last very long for me, but somehow I found my way to this blog. Somehow it has gotten me through at least an hour, maybe two. This has been good for me. I hope to get better at Sabbaths. The least I could do is practice it like the Jews do Shabbat.

And I could always blog.

Some very exciting news...

Joshua and I (and Shell-Bell!) were hired on at the Biltmore Estate to work in the vineyards as harvest workers. We start on Monday, bright and early at 7:00 a.m., picking grapes. We are all ridiculously excited about this endeavor, while most people out of their twenties look at us with something akin to horrified bemusement.

I am most excited because I will get to meet a lot of internationals, which is right up my alley. Introduce me to someone from another country and I can ask them questions until the cows come home.

This weekend is a women's retreat at Highland and I am co-leading a group, which I am kind of nervous about, if only for the fact that I suck at small talk. But I trust that God has his hand on it all, and he'll help me out.

Anyways, short update, but had to let you all know... the grapes have ripened and off we go!

So, this happened two weeks ago, but I've been wanting to blog about it and haven't had the chance.

We heard about a meteor shower that was supposedly the last of its kind. So Megan and I and our friend Vicki drove up on the parkway late one night to get away from the city lights and hopefully see a show. I love going up on the parkway to look at the stars. The last time Megan and I went, we sang worship songs to the creator of the magnificent display, and just as we finished singing God blessed us with a shooting star. This time I was just as excited. We found a spot and laid by the car with blankets and watched. "There's one!" "There's another one!" They had long tails and fell across the sky in slow motion. We started talking about Jesus and God (one of my favorite subjects) and what He might do in the world, in our nation, and in our lives. We spoke of our God-given dreams, desires, and hopes. All of this we did in the cradle of His beautiful creation. I could have spent the whole night there. It was really late, though, so we went home.

I am blessed to be in a place where I can see the mighty hand of God displayed in a starry, night sky.

As for today, the 24th of August, I am doing homework and studying for classes, doing chores, and checking things off "the list." I've got to go find a job.

Check out that bag of blueberries! Currently they are residing in our refrigerator, waiting to be added to a batch of buttermilk pancake mix on Monday evening. Every Monday night is Megan Monday at the Worthy house. I make dinner for all eight of us. So now I know how to cook for eight. When Josh and I were house sitting a few months ago and it was just the two of us, I had a bit of a rough time sizing things down. One night I decided to make spaghetti and meatballs and we ended up with 11 meatballs each. Needless to say Josh's craving for meatballs went away after eating them for a week.

Today we headed up to Black Balsam Knob on the Blue Ridge Parkway for the second time this month to harvest more blueberries. The morning was overcast and perfect for picking. (Too much sun bakes you on the treeless fields.) There are still plenty of unripened berries and I'm planning on taking a third trip up there next week with my friend Vicki, who also came with us today. She's an herbalist and today she taught me to look for yarrow, a soft, feathery plant that can be macerated and used as a hemostatic agent. In fact, it was used so often in wartime in early America that it's known as yarrow achillea, named after Greek mythological figure Achilles who was always off fighting a battle. I also learned about jewelweed, a natural remedy used to treat poison ivy. It's a beautiful, delicate looking flower, bright orangish-yellow in color. I picked some out on the trail today and asked Vicki if I had found the correct plant, and as we were looking a bumble bee decided to drop in for a drink of nectar. The nectar in this flower is all the way at the base of the flower so the bee had to completely crawl inside the tight, bell-shaped petals until only its butt was sticking out. Vickie showed me that the bee cannot escape the flower without rubbing against a certain part of it, therefore taking the pollen with him and spreading the species. Incredible.

After several hours of picking (and eating) blueberries and blackberries, we stopped by Graveyard Fields to dip into the swimming hole before heading home. The sun went behind the clouds and it was like swimming in a pool of ice cubes.

Yesterday was another adventure all of its own. Joshua and I went on a double date with our friends Myles and Brittney. (Myles was one of Josh's groomsmen... he is the one who played the dulcimer, also.) We decided to go spelunking at Rumbling Bald, an area that is well-known to local rock climbers. Josh and I are familiar with the cave by now, at least to one certain point. That point would be a 15-foot climb up a vertical rock wall using a yellow rope. We've gotten to the top of it before, but couldn't figure out which way to go after that... everything seemed like a dead end. We were determined to ferret out further adventures this time though. We wouldn't give up until we knew what was past the yellow rope.

It's a hefty hike up to the cave. Uphill for about a mile, and then you have to climb some boulders to make your way half-way up the mountain before you can get to the entrance. Not real rock climbing, mind you, but definitely use all four appendages to climb in some places. The cave isn't like a cavern that you will see at Mammoth Caves or something. There aren't any guided tours or even an open-mouthed entrance. It's a fissure cave, meaning, some time long ago the mountain shook enough that large slabs of rock fell and created a cave-like space. It's a tight squeeze to get into the entrance to the cave, but once you're in, it opens up.

We made it to the yellow rope, which had been replaced by a yellow hose since the last time I climbed it. That thought alone helps me from being afraid in the caves. It's interesting to look above your head and see huge boulders trapped precariously between two slabs of rock leaning up against it on either side. Kind of like if a big clap of thunder rattled the mountain enough, something might fall on your head. But knowing that other people frequent the cave, tying up ropes and replacing them later with hoses, makes me feel better about being in there. For all we know, those people go in equipped with hard-hat helmets and real climbing gear, not our little measly four-light headlamps that cost $14.88 at Wal-Mart. But I try not to think about that while we're in there. It's scary enough as it is being in the pitch black dark. With spiders.

We made it up the yellow rope (hose). That's a feat in itself, because that is a moment to face your fears. It looks hard, even though it's not. Maybe you wouldn't be so scared if you could actually see, but you have one beam of light and you can only point it one direction at a time. Plus, the scariest thought for me is, What's over the top of that ledge? I tried to push away all memories of the previews I saw for the movie Descent, a horror flick about a group of girls that go spelunking and get eaten by a carnivorous cave creature.


We tried for the better part of an hour to find what could be the way through the cave system. Everything either seemed way too dangerous to try without some serious equipment and someone along who knew what they were doing, or led us back to where we started. Getting lost in a cave is not my way of fun. Once you take certain risks, say, hurdling over a four-foot gap only to catch a rock and climb upwards, there's no turning back. And is it just me, or does it seem a little outrageous to do something like that when you aren't sure of an exit at the other end and there's no possible way to go back the way you came if you make that leap? Thankfully my exuberant and adventurous husband decided to take us back to the entrance we came through before any of us did anything really stupid.

On our way home we stopped by the Rocky Bald River, one of my favorite spots in all of Western North Carolina. The hike had been hot and humid, and the climbing in the cave had been grueling, and we were driving by the river and Myles said, "Man, I'd really like to just jump in there right now." We happened to be driving past a shoulder that had gravel for parking so I shouted, "Stop here!" and then we all got out of the car and made a mad dash for the river.

We ended up sliding down a white water rapid with all of our clothes on and having an amazingly fun, refreshing time. Two thumbs up for spontaneity.


Splashing around in the Rocky Bald ended abruptly with a booming clap of thunder that made me grateful we weren't in the fissure cave and an accompanying bolt of lightning that was quite impressive. We drove home in a rainstorm, highlighted by a full rainbow. Fun, fun date.

Fun, fun life!

Today is Joshua's first day back to school. He's there right now actually, and probably had no clue that I wanted to take his picture before he left so that I could post it on our blog. That's Sammy in the background... always loving to be where the action is at. :) Tonight I think he has his first class of developmental pych, intro to computers, and anatomy and physiology. I'm hoping they will just cover the syllabi and let him out early because I didn't pack him any dinner. It was a sad thought when I realized today that Josh won't be at dinner at all this semester... he's got classes at night, and starting in November when he begins his CNA course, all day, too. He is a hardworking man.


Yesterday was my 24th birthday. I feel like I'm getting old; you all probably laugh and tell me I'm still in the cradle. I had a week-long celebration, my favorite kind. Last Tuesday some girlfriends took me out to dinner at PF Chang's, which is my favorite restaurant. I was deliriously happy when they opened one up in Asheville last year, and two miles from my house at that! All I need is a Cheesecake Factory and life would be complete. I even wrote to them and suggested they open a restaurant here, but I don't think we're on the list. So sad. I digress...

So after dinner the ladies told me they had a surprise gift for me. We drove me downtown and then they blindfolded me and proceeded to walk me to an undisclosed location. When they ripped off the blindfold, the first thing my eyes focused on was a neon sign that said "BODY PIERCING" and then after two seconds of feeling befuddled someone shouted, "You're getting your nose pierced!" I didn't even have time to be nervous-- in we went, all nine of us... papers were signed, money was exchanged (they each chipped in $5.00 and covered the expense) and before I knew it a very chipper middle-aged piercer was shooing me into a back room and making me sit down in a chair that resembled something you see at the dentist's office. "Is this going to hurt worse than a tattoo?" I asked him. "It's much quicker," he replied. Then he whipped out a pen, made a dot on my nose and told me to close my eyes. "Wait," I said, "aren't you going to let me see where you put it?" He looked at me like I had just offended him and replied, "There's only one right place for it." I politely insisted on taking a look but then decided he was right. Back in the chair I went, eyes squeezed shut as he opened up the sterile package housing a hollow needle and then stuffed something up my left nostril. Stab of pain, tear trickling involuntarily out of my left eye, stud in, and viola! my nose was pierced. What a fun present. Chacos, unshaven legs, a nose piercing... I am truly becoming more and more Ashevillian by the day.


My birthday celebration continued with a long weekend trip to Florida to visit my parents. We went kayaking along with my folks and three great college friends on the Rainbow River... tuckered ourselves out but had fun doing it. Highlights of the day include treading water for ten minutes (or at least it felt like ten minutes) in the springs after paddling an hour upstream, Josh steering him and my mom straight toward a water moccasin racing across the river (and scaring her to death) while they were sharing a kayak, and a refreshing and gentle rainshower that bathed us for all of fifteen minutes toward the end of our journey. The last time I went kayaking was eight years ago, actually on that same river with my parents and a group of high school friends... and I was a lot more spry. My parents said, "Imagine how we feel."


Finally, yesterday arrived, THE day! Josh and I slept in (at least until the power went out and some utility guys started working in the next door neighbor's back yard rather noisily) and then went and got breakfast at Chick-fil-A... yay for chicken biscuits. We picked up Josh's sister, Michelle, and tootled off to Pack Memorial Library, the big library downtown (heaven!). I could've spent hours in there, but thankfully we were on a time schedule or else Joshua and Michelle might have died. That evening (after a nice afternoon nap) Josh presented me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers that he hand-picked at a local florist and a bouquet of balloons! One of them sings. Emma Worthy (second oldest of the Worthy girls) made me pancakes for dinner, Josa (the eldest) made me Funfetti cupcakes with chocolate icing (my favorite, if anyone recalls from our wedding reception), and then Bryan set up a projector and speakers and we watched the new Hannah Montana movie on the living room wall, just like we were at the movies. I thought Josh gagged a couple of times, but it was my birthday present, so he toughed it out.


All in all, it was a wonderful week (how could it not be? it was absolutely lavish) and today I woke up cheery and centered. Life is good. (I love that brand. Do you?)